I was unprepared for how emotionally difficult gender reconstruction surgery would be. I knew it would be painful. I knew there would be a lot of work involved. I knew the recovery process would be long. I was not expecting how emotionally isolating it would be, and was also unprepared for how to deal emotionally with complications to surgery that I knew could happen. So difficult to be a transsexual. I tried so hard to avoid it, but it didn’t seem avoidable at all anymore.

Now I’m six years into living my truth, and I guess at least it is just barely livable now, which is something it was not before.

I’ve been thinking I need to go to my first therapist who said I wasn’t really trans and say “look, you were wrong!”. I’m so grateful I’ve had a friend to take me in. Otherwise my difficulties and healing and my loneliness would be completely overbearing.

I suspect the question in the title is a question I should avoid asking. Otherwise, like Job I may be asked to endure further hardships.