Difficult part after hard part, what’s the hardest part?

Difficult part after hard part, what’s the hardest part?

I was unprepared for how emotionally difficult gender reconstruction surgery would be. I knew it would be painful. I knew there would be a lot of work involved. I knew the recovery process would be long. I was not expecting how emotionally isolating it would be, and was also unprepared for how to deal emotionally with complications to surgery that I knew could happen. So difficult to be a transsexual. I tried so hard to avoid it, but it didn’t seem avoidable at all anymore.

Now I’m six years into living my truth, and I guess at least it is just barely livable now, which is something it was not before.

I’ve been thinking I need to go to my first therapist who said I wasn’t really trans and say “look, you were wrong!”. I’m so grateful I’ve had a friend to take me in. Otherwise my difficulties and healing and my loneliness would be completely overbearing.

I suspect the question in the title is a question I should avoid asking. Otherwise, like Job I may be asked to endure further hardships.

Vagina Envy — Check!

Vagina Envy — Check!

goodbye vagina envy

Finally my lifelong vagina envy has been dealt with. While it may never be as perfect as those beautiful girls in Penthouse and on all the p0rn websites, at least this vulva is my own. While my stuff is not as amazingly functional as so many other women’s, I’m sure that there are many other cisgender women with whom I stand upon an equal footing. I believe it will do what I need it to do.  It will certainly be much better than going through life as a woman with a penis. While it may work for some people, I found it a horribly ignoble fate.

What a relief to finally gotten life-saving medical care.

< Sigh >

I love it when people put baby on Board stickers on their cars, so I know which cars to aim for.
Valentine Lovecraft

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