I was given some excellent advice by an older transwoman when I told her I was trying to pass, having just gone to living 24-7 as a woman a few months earlier. “Don’t” she said. “By trying to pass you only make yourself more nervous and will be more likely read by anyone you meet.
Now here at transadvocate.com is an excellent article on the perils of passing, and the difficult history of the term. I can also recommend the book “Nobody Passes“, an anthology of genderqueer perspectives.
It’s is really self evident if you think about it. A beautiful masculine male is most attactive to heterosexual women and homosexual men. Conversely, a feminine female is most attractive to heterosexual men and homosexual women.
A beautiful androgynous person can be highly attractive to everyone regardless of their sexuality. But the most beautiful people are those who are true to themselves.
I live a contemplative life. I journal. I’ve kept a sketch book since I was 17. I have a phd therapist. I also have an attending MD for anti- anxiety meds. I’m a functional alcoholic, with a strong taste for hops and tequila. I have a strange and compulsive mental addiction to cannibis flowers. I’m chronically depressed and gender dysphoric. Gender exhausts me. All gender feels like performance, but when I cross the line from my given gender I feel strangly free. All of a sudden I am comfortable enough to be myself. I read recently that someone felt like being a girl was fake, and being a boy was fake too but felt more comfortable. After having officially switched my gender from feminine man to average to slightly butch woman, I realize that taking that jump was necessary to really going all the way to being free to express myself no matter how I may feel. I would not conform to anyone’s stereotype.
Everyone makes their own reality
Everyone transmits their own reality
Meditate on the subtle energy whose confluence with the energy surrounding you creates the universe you inhabit.
One of the hardest things in life is taking responsibility for the reality that you create around yourself. Once we become responsible for becoming the goddesses of our own reality, than we are able to move past the stage of feeling helplessly lost to the winds of the fates.
With that responsibility, comes the knowledge that it is your responsibility to CREATE a reality that is more to your liking. If your are the architect of your universe, what are the plans? It is an extreme task, but one that must be undertaken if one desires self improvement. True improvement of the self stems from improving the world around you. If you realize that true unity does exist among all the tiny particles of matter in space/time, than it follows that improving ANYTHING will be improving yourself.